Caffeine: 5 Reasons Why Drinking Coffee at the Office is the Best Way to Excel at Your Job

Coffee at the office, Coffee Break

Ever wondered how the top professionals get so much done? From the likes of Donald Trump, to Elon Musk, to Oprah Winfrey, to Sir Richard Branson. What do they all have in common? This article is going to explore exactly how you can be like these leaders and excel at your job.

So what is the link between these people? That’s right, it’s coffee.

All of the best and most successful people and heroes of yours (for example, those listed above… Make America Productive Again?) all drink copious amounts of coffee. When Trump, everyone’s favourite president even raves about it in his social media feed. A man of such pull, prowess and professionalism, with such a large social following says it, you just know that it’s something great.

Better yet, because “covfefe” has been mentioned, I’m sure you’re going to see a lot more coffee shops sprouting up all over the place. Because if there is anything that we need more of, its coffee shops. It’s even believed that in some neighbourhoods, there are as little as one coffee shop on each corner. This is not nearly acceptable. Thankfully, you’ll likely be seeing more of these much sought after Java joints popping up all around you. Especially now that everyone around you, and hopefully yourself, want to excel at your job.

Finally, you can say goodbye to those dingy and once thought ‘trendy’ bars, being replaced by a Coffee Bean or a Starbucks. Because who of us don’t want a pumpkin spice, extra triple shot espresso with a flake, cream, sprinkles AND professional successes?

Or perhaps that local record store. The one that only sells records and NOT coffee. That spot will be replaced by a Pret A Manger, a Coffee Club or a Gloria Jeans. And don’t get me started about those hole-in-the-wall clothing shops (more like hole-in-the-way, am I right?) that only sell the latest fashions. That, my friend will turn into the next franchise that we need… Covfefe Club.

Trump Covfefe Tweet
Image: Trump Covfefe Tweet

So given that all the best people drink coffee, here are the 5 reasons why drinking lots of coffee at the office is the absolute best way to excel at your job. Not only that, it’ll have you out perform your colleagues in every way imaginable.

Being more alert and always doing something

Being a creative person or living creatively (whatever that means) can often times be difficult to maintain. Especially if your job isn’t necessarily a creative one. So in order to achieve your best creative works, drink as many cups of coffee as possible.

In doing so has been proven to be an excellent way to stay alert and active. Allowing you to capitalise on all of that wasted time between mundane tasks. For example, if you’re on the train home, learn to juggle. If you’re making dinner, also make origami. Or if you find yourself with a spare 20 minutes, write the next lyrical masterpiece. Think Jimmy Page wanted to excel at his job? Just look at Stairway to Heaven.

At the very least, is it any surprise that some of the best literary works are done by those writers and authors who indulge in the covfefe arts? I think not.

You’ll never sleep

Having 8-12 coffees in a day was once considered a bad thing. These so-called health professionals said that it’ll keep you up all night and force stunted sleep patterns. However, what they fail to mention is, the more coffee, the more time you’ve got to get stuff done. Especially when you get the intern to make however many coffee’s you need throughout the day.

The saying “there isn’t enough time in the day” won’t apply to you because you’ll be ahead of the curve having found a foolproof way to excel at your job.

Studies show that when drinking large amounts of coffee, one struggles to sleep. Not only can you no longer sleep at your desk, it’ll allow you to utilise the wasted time between 10pm and 6am for more work! Doing this can make you achieve more by getting more work done, showing your boss you’re a “go-getter” and even allowing you to have more free time. Even better, if you want to become something of a Lothario, drink coffee and go out at night. Keep up the good work by having a coffee liqueur with some other professionals who value efficiency. Since you have work in the morning, it’s the best time to have a social life.

Prolongs life

It’s true that drinking lots of coffee lets you live longer. Who of us doesn’t want to live forever?

Because you’re drinking so much coffee, you can now work for longer. Being able to capitalise on all of those years sitting around at age 100, you can now earn money, drink lots of coffee and continue to live forever!

Coffee Work - Soure: negativespace.co
Image: Coffee Work, negativespace.co

The most creative drink coffee

Need more of a reason to indulge yourself in the art of coffee drinking? Well, look no further than Sweden.

Sweden? Yep, that’s right , Sweden.

The Swedes are by far the biggest coffee drinkers in the world. Making drinking coffee more of a cultural phenomena than Cuban baseball players. If you’re struggling to find the link between the Swedes and creativity, then here it is. Swedish people are so creative and forward thinking, that they hate their two best exports… Abba and Ikea. You just know that they know what they’re doing, excelling at everything they touch.

Beyond this, all the best writers, creatives, designers and entrepreneurs drink lots and lots of coffee.

It’s true. Ever seen the show Seinfeld? All they did was drink cup upon cup of coffee and what do they have to show for it? Jerry was a successful stand-up comedian, Elaine grew to success in business and even George managed to pull himself up to the highest rungs of society. Despite the fact that George was possibly the worst ever character on television. Constantly being handed things he didn’t deserve, achieving successes he didn’t earn and receiving chance after chance, but thats another thought.

Why? Because of constant coffee drinking.

Image: Seinfeld Monks, RantNOW
Image: Seinfeld Monks, RantNOW

Enhances workflow

When you’re at work it can often be difficult to get much work done when you’re always being called into meetings. If you’re a specialist in your field, then it’s even worse. All the time you’re being asked your opinion and being spoken to.

Well, when you drink lots of coffee, nobody wants to talk to you. Problem solved.

Meetings are finished faster, you don’t get bothered at your desk, never summoned off to meet with a client. You’re free to go about your business and do work. Whether it’s due to the coffee breath, stained teeth or the twitching, you’ll always be left alone. From this, productivity and efficiency is born.

In Summary

Coffee is a wonder drug. So much that if you drink it, it just might give you super powers. Super powers to excel at your job. Giving you the strength to power through your work, be the most creative person in the office and make you as efficient as a Swiss time piece.

So go ahead. Drink those 10+ cups of coffee. Go to Coffee Bean, go to Dunkin’ Donuts, go to that place down the street, buy a coffee machine, get the intern to whip up a cuppa’ Joe. Just go and do it! Your boss and your bank will thank you for it.

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